The Stupidest Athlete on Twitter

October 31, 2012

Raw Thoughts has a running column called Athletes Who Are Too Stupid For Twitter in which I profile athletes who need to be a little more careful with their social media output.  Previously scholars like Tony Allen, the Honey Badger, and Jamaal Charles have been the recipients of this esteemed award.  I have really enjoyed writing these posts as it allows me to combine my two favorite things, sarcasm and wasting time on the internet.  Unfortunately Raw Thoughts is officially retiring AWATSFT.  That is because one man has permanently taken over the crown of the stupidest athlete on twitter.

Meet Delonte West.

 

Delonte West, or @charleeredz13, has a consistently dumb and annoying twitter feed.  It is a depressing mixture of poor grammar, self-promotion, and replies to cute girls who tweet at him.  Delonte consistently talks himself up as a rapper and on October 28th tweeted 14 youtube videos of his own highlights.  Needless to say, following Delonte has been a burden on my twitter feed and to some extent my soul.  But today it was all worth it.  Delonte West sent out a string of tweets that are unequivocally the stupidest yet funniest things ever written down by mankind.  I could spend all day talking about this but let’s just get right down to the evidence.

 

“Teams That Should Take a Chance on Delonte West | Bleacher Report http://m.bleacherreport.com/articles/1389198-teams-that-should-take-a-chance-on-delonte-west …”

Delonte West was unfortunately just cut by the Dallas Mavericks due to a combination of poor play and and even worse conduct.  He obviously was researching potential new teams and though the rest of the world should know he still has a shot to play in the NBA.  Pretty reasonable by his standards.

“It’s not even takin a chance…I’m not comin to yr team riddin a motorcycle… High Q player/person ..low cost…great influence on young P.”

Here is where Delonte starts to fly off the rails.  He appears to take issue with the language used in a relatively complimentary article and tries to rebut the notion that he is a risky addition for NBA teams.  The bad spelling and gratuitous use of the … is bad but Delonte’s choice of words is even more unfortunate.  He should probably leave motorcycle talk out of job applications (sadly that appears to be what these tweets are) since he was pulled over on one in Maryland in 2009 while packing two loaded handguns and a loaded shotgun in a guitar case.

“Defend and play all 3 guard spots…complete player…can be a scorer if asked can be whatever a team needs do to wide verity of skill set..”

Having dealt (very poorly) with questions about his conduct, Delonte now moves on to describing his skill set.  The point of this tweet is to show of his versatility.  Sadly what it actually shows is that Delonte West doesn’t know how to spell “variety” or that there are only two guard spots on an NBA basketball team.  Not sure which is worse, but its all bad.

“Only ask for communication about when checks come up missin or short…other than that…let’s win some games and have fun while we doin it!”

Delonte now shows that he is low maintenance and will only have problems if he doesnt get paid on time.  This would be a reasonable statement if he were applying to Taco Bell.  Since it is the fucking NBA however I think its a little ridiculous to worry about checks bouncing or coming up “short”

“And yea..this is my resamay…Coach….?, let’s go..take me a day or two to figure offense and a few mins to figure out defense…!!”

Delonte now confirms that these tweets are a sad, sad attempt to get an NBA job.  And of course, “Resamay.”  Really bro?  If that is how you think spelling works then why isn’t your name Delantay?

My rates..are league minimum…non garentee…cause Iknow that by time I get there u see what I’m about..what I bring everyday…”

This is actually a pretty reasonable thing to say.  Typos and horrific spelling aside that is probably what a GM or coach would want to hear from a guy like West.

 

And finally we come to Delonte’s finest work.  If he is the Picasso of stupid tweets then this is his Guernica; a masterpiece that is sad and beautiful in equal parts.

Iim not worried about what the next man has on his plate…if he has a steak and patatoe..kool…I’m fine with my popeyes ….”

This is a mind-bogglingly (I may have just made up that term) ridiculous tweet.  Not only is it a really poor example of why he is willing to take less money to be on the team, but it also looks like a 4 year old wrote it out.  And Popeyes?  The league minimum salary for a veteran player like Delonte is over 1.2 million.  Pretty sure he can still get the steak.

 

 

As you can see, Delonte West is a desperate man.  He is also a really dumb one.  Regardless of the spelling, grammar and typing errors the entire idea of this sequence of tweets is really ill-advised.  NBA GM’s and coaches won’t hire Delonte in part because he is unbalanced and makes bad decisions.  These tweets only confirm this opinion of him.

I will always respect Delonte West because I am 82 percent sure he banged Lebron’s mom, but there is no doubt in my mind he is the stupidest athlete on twitter.  Long live the king.

 

 

Advertisements

One Response to “The Stupidest Athlete on Twitter”

  1. […] Delonte West been dethroned as the stupidest athlete on […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: