The Coolest Man at the Olympics

August 3, 2012

Every four years the Olympics give athletes a chance to prove their sporting prowess against competitors from all over the world.  More importantly however they give athletes a chance to show off how sweet they are.  Olympic coverage is saturated with interviews, background story pieces, and many other opportunities for the competitors to show off not only their sporting prowess, but also their qualifications for being the man.  Take the Beijing Olympics for example.  Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt both dominated athletically but Usain Bolt also aced the “cool” test.  Phelps kind of came off as a nerd in his interviews and public appearances.  (A fact that was confirmed by his abysmal SNL hosting experience later that year.)  Bolt however was a total boss winning the 100 meter dash even while intentionally slowing down at the end and then rocking some really awesome celebrations on the track.


Look at that dude.  He is completely killing it.  By my rough calculations bolt was between 30 to 100 times cooler than Phelps at the last Olympics.

 

This year my nomination for coolest man in London goes to Bradley Wiggins, and I don’t even think it is close.  Wiggins won the Tour De France this year, (for my money the most difficult mainstream sporting event in the world)  and the Tour didn’t even finish until July 22nd.  Ten days later Wiggins was crushing the field in the Men’s Time Trial to win the first gold medal for the home nation.  Wiggins was so dominant that his victory was assured well before the reigning Olympic champion Fabian Cancellara even finished.  Wiggins could have been a dick and started celebrating but took the high road and waited until all competitors had finished before taking his victory lap.  And what a victory lap it was.  Wiggins rode for nearly a mile around historic Hampton Court Palace (I have no idea what Hampton Court Palace is but it sounds historic) to thunderous applause from the British fans.  To make it even sweeter Wiggins became the most decorated British Olympian fo all time with this victory.  Not a bad day.

 
But it takes more than just athletic achievements and a nice celebration to become the coolest man at the Olympics.  It takes a signature, non-sports moment to guarantee this title.  And Wiggins delivered in spades.  Check out the coolest picture ever taken.

I could spend hours analyzing exactly why this picture of Wiggins after the gold medal ceremony is so awesome.  For one he is sitting in a fucking throne.  I am not entirely sure if this is usual cycling behavior, used for every Olympic event, or a stunt pulled by Wiggins.  I’m going to be optimistic and assume its the latter. Regardless Wiggins also wins huge points for his civil war era sideburns and for throwing up deuces.  Also, Wiggins looks exactly like Austin Powers would if he were an internationally renowned cyclist.

 

Take a bow Bradley Wiggins.  Even though the Olympics are only half over your gold medal winning performance and Internation Man of Mystery Swag have earned you the title of the Coolest Man at the Olympics.

 

Unless somebody hooks up with this chick.

 

 

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2 Responses to “The Coolest Man at the Olympics”

  1. alexpm90 said

    Still a sweet pic, but they have three thrones in that cycling race that the top three competitors have to sit in as they finish. Clearlyyy someone didn’t watch this live like me

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