NBA Draft/Free Agency

July 6, 2012

The NBA off-season moves really, really fast.  I had almost finished a post about the draft when free agency started and all sorts of hell broke loose.  In an effort to keep up I am going to roll out some rapid fire Raw Thoughts about all things NBA.


-Anthony Davis is hella overrated. (I am trying out hella.)  I am sure he is going to be a good player but he has gotten an absurd amount of hype.  According to a Bill Simmons and Chad Ford mock draft on Grantland, there are only three players in the league that teams would not trade for Davis.  Those three players being Lebron, Durant, and Chris Paul.  Davis may well be a star someday but trading Kevin Love, Russell Westbrook, or Derrick Rose for him would be beyond retarded.  I see Davis as a slightly rich man’s Serge Ibaka.  Enormously valuable but not one of the 10-20 best players in the league.

-Terrence Ross knows his way around a bowtie.

Well played sir

-David Stern is an absolute Bro.  He got booed every single time he stepped up to the mic during the draft and did not flinch at all.  He even seemed to relish it and flashed a huge grin when he got to announce the Heat as NBA champions, drawing the loudesd cascade of boos of the night.  I am not a big Stern fan but I respect anyone who has so much power that they can just brush off criticism like that.  Also the draft was in Newark and I am all for ignoring and mocking people from Jersey.

-The Toronto Raptors and the Houston Rockets are screwed.  They both had big plans for free agency but ended up with matching turd sandwiches.  Sheisty players and even worse contracts are all these fan bases can look forward to for the next couple of years. (I am looking at you Landry Fields)

-Dallas is even more screwed.  I wrote earlier about the big risk Mav’s owner Mark Cuban took by selling out to get Dwight Howard and/or Deron Williams.  That situation is now a reality after Williams nexted Dallas in favor of the Brooklyn Nets.  Now Dallas gave up its chance to repeat last year, and is going to suck even harder this year.  Tough times.

-Dwight Howard is a Mega Douche.

-Joe Johnson has the worst contract in the NBA.  By far.  He is the highest paid player in the league and at this point is probably not in the top 40 best players.  Great move by the Nets though.  Whenever you have the chance to overpay a shooting guard to convince a point guard to allow you to overpay him you have to do it.  Or something.

-Steve Nash to the Lakers makes me really sad.  Not because I hate the Lakers, which I do, but because I am worried for his safety.  Nash is notorious for enforcing strict training and dietary regimens on his teammates.  How long till Ron Ron gets tired of this old white dude telling him to eat broccoli before he decides to beat ass.  Or God forbid Nash passes to Gasol in the clutch instead of Kobe.  We might see our first on-court murder.  This will not end well.

-Jeremy Lin is getting paid.  Something like 30 million bucks over 4 years.  That’s pretty solid considering he played about six weeks.  The Racist Announcer Watch could not be more excited for the Jeremy Lin era in Houston.

-Austin Rivers is going to be an awesome pro and will prove to be a steal for the Hornets at number ten.  He is just way too confident/cocky to fail.  Plus he can shoot off the dribble and that is a skill you can take to the bank in the NBA.  Just ask J.R. Smith. (Or better yet ask his agent since I highly doubt J.R. Smith has ever been to a bank.)

-The Knicks point guard situation keeps getting funnier.  Last year they were roundly mocked for starting the season with 36 year old Mike Bibby at point guard.  This year they have “upgraded” to 39 year old Jason Kidd.  Kidd was born in ’73.  He is so old he could have actually attended The Last Waltz. (Not getting this reference is a personal problem but I will help out anyway.  Check this link out immediately if not sooner.)

And now for some bonus non-basketball Raw Thoughts.


-Bubba Watson is the coolest dude ever.  His twitter is hilarious.  A few days ago he tweeted, “I can’t wait to retire from golf so I can relax and play a ton of golf.”  Here is another gem from the US Open. “I figured out what I did wrong today. I missed that putt on 18 for a 79. #golfishard.”

-I am going to the MLB All-Star game this weekend for “work.”  I am going to conduct an experiment over the course of the weekend.  I plan on loudly and aggressively booing Jeter just to see what happens.  If Raw Thoughts doesn’t come back next week then I probably got my ass kicked by this guy. (Either that or I just got lazy and didn’t write anything.)


-No one on earth will have a more stressful next 48 hours than Andy Murray.  He has the weight of a proud, but athletically frustrated, nation riding on him.  And he is also playing against the best tennis player of all time.  Good luck dude.

-I have watched the movie Independence Day at least six times this week.  And in no way does that upset me.  Happy (late) America Day from President Thomas J. Whitmore.