The Duke-UNC Rivalry

February 8, 2012

I am from Raleigh which for those of you that are stupid, is deep in UNC territory.  Nearly all of my friends growing up had family connections to Carolina and were adamant, and obnoxious followers of Tar Heel basketball.  Even those without family connections almost exclusively rooted for Carolina cause they were so damn good when most people picked a team in first or second grade. (We call these people frontruners, and they suck balls).  I on the other hand, come from a Duke family and have been a diehard duke fan as long as I can remember.  Growing up a Duke fan in enemy territory has given me some unique insights into the nature of the rivalry and allows me to give unbiased answers to some frequently asked questions.

1.  Why is the rivalry such a big deal?

Duke-UNC is the greatest rivalry in college sports and in my opinion in sports in general.  This is due to a number of reasons.  The first and most important of which is geographical.  ESPN always talks about how close these schools are and they are not kidding.  You can get from Duke’s campus to Franklin Street in under 15 minutes.  This proximity forces the schools to interact often and keeps things interesting.

The second reason is a tradition of shared excellence.  Both schools are good academically and athletically.  Duke holds a slight advantage in the game of life, and UNC has been slightly better at sports but its a close contest in both.  This is really important to the health of a rivalry.  NC State would like to believe it is a rival to Duke and Carolina but State is literally worse at everything than these two schools so no one takes them seriously.

2. Why do Carolina fans take the rivalry more seriously?

Fans on both sides are serious about the game but in many years of experience I can say with certainty that Carolina fans are personally insulted by the existence of Duke University.  This translates to actual hatred of Duke basketball players and coaches.  This hatred comes from a deep-seated inferiority complex. UNC fans hate Duke because they feel like second-class citizens.  This is the same reason State fans hate UNC and ECU fans hate state.  No one hates East Carolina University.

3. Will I sit around and watch 7 hours of classic Duke-UNC games today?

Yes.  Yes I will.

4.  Why is Kris Lang so ugly?

No one knows for sure.  Scholars maintain the answer was lost centuries ago.

5.  Which team has douchier fans?

This is a really tough question to answer.  Carolina fans consistently refer to Duke as DOOK which is the height of douchebaggery.  Duke on the other hand has people like this guy. Duke fans also make cheer sheets which is the softest thing this side of Drake.  Lets just call this one a push.

6. What the fuck is going on with Roy’s ties?

This is a question brought up by every girl I have ever watched a UNC game with.  My mom, sisters, friends, and girlfriends have all perplexed.  Lets take a look.

This is just egregious.  C’mon man.

7. Who Will Win?

Duke.  Duke will win by between 4 and 7 points. (Knocking on wood.) Carolina has more talent but is a flawed team.  Marshall is badly overrated and Barnes for whatever reason is reluctant to take the ball to the basket. Austin Rivers is having his coming out party tonight.


Go to hell Carolina





2 Responses to “The Duke-UNC Rivalry”

  1. Carlos said

    state is better than both teams in football but other than that this article is the best written and most accurate concerning the rivalry.

  2. Robbie Patterson said

    Duke doesn’t have “cheer sheets” — they are called “dirt sheets.” They don’t actually have any pre-made cheers on them.

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