Abandon Ship

January 17, 2012

This past week two men stood out for their incompetence and criminal inattention to the responsibilities of their station.  These men of course are Italian cruise ship captain Francesco Schettino and UNC basketball coach Roy Williams.  Both Schettino and Williams were party to disastrous events, and they both dipped out early and allowed their underlings to deal with the fallout.  Schettino ran his massive cruise ship into a rock.  The result looked something like this.

Roy Williams somehow allowed his team to lose to Florida State by over thirty points.  In the process allowing Florida State reserve guard and career 3 point per game scorer Deividas Dulkys to go off for 32 points.  The pictures from this ass-beating are just as chilling.

Yes that is UNC All-America candidate John Henson crying like a little bitch.


Allowing these disasters was bad enough but the conduct of Schettino and Williams in the aftermath was much worse.  Once it became apparent that the ship could not be saved Schettino abandoned his post and got the hell off the boat.  This made the rescue operations much more difficult.  As a result Schettino is being charged with “abandoning ship” and is currently being held in an Italian prison.  Yup, you heard me.  Abandoning ship is actually a crime.

Roy did pretty much the same thing.  In the final seconds of the game Florida State coach Leonard Hamilton saw the students massing to charge the court and suggested that the UNC players not currently in the game be escorted to the locker room so as to avoid an ugly scene after the buzzer sounded.  This was a reasonable suggestion the Ol’ Roy took waaaaaay to far.  He inserted five walk-ons into the game and then took the rest of the team, coaching staff, and his own scared ass down the tunnel and off the court.  That’s right.  He felt his safety was an issue but abandoned five of his players to the mob.


Both Schettino and Williams’ actions were inexcusable.  The question is who was worse.  My money is on Roy big time.  Schettino disgraced himself, but can anyone really say with certainty that when faced with a watery grave, literally going down with your ship, that you would act any differently?  I can’t.  What I can guarantee is that I would not run from a few rowdy fans while leaving my players on the court.  What exactly did Roy think was going to happen?  This is a college basketball game in America, not a soccer match in fucking Colombia.  I think they would have been okay.

Roy Williams all I have to say to you is C’mon Man




2012 Predictions

January 2, 2012

I know that this is the least original idea humanly possible, but it seems like all the cool kids are doing it so here goes.  The following things will almost definitely happen in 2012


The Honey Badger will take what he wants.  Starting with a national championship a week from today against Alabama.  Final score:17-9

Somebody is going to dramatically overpay Matt Flynn after his performance last week in relief of Aaron Rodgers.  My money is on the Redskins.

Terra Nova will get canceled.

I will be really pissed that Terra Nova got canceled.

Kevin Durant will be the NBA MVP

The Heat will win the NBA title

The Chiefs will trade up and draft Robert Griffin III.

The European Championship Soccer tournament will be really awesome this summer.  The Netherlands will win and absolutely no one in America will give a shit.

Ricky Rubio is going to blow up.  He will be one of the most famous guys in the league by then end of the year.

The hockey playoffs will happen and someone will win.

The Miami Marlins will still suck.  And no one will go to the game because people in South Florida are front-runners.  They are all transports who moved from New Jersey cause they thought Florida was winning.

The Panthers will make the playoffs but Cam Newton will put up worse numbers than he did this season.

Stupid people will pick Newton way to early in fantasy drafts and be really pissed off.  Just like everyone who picked Vick in the first round this year.

The Chiefs will trade up and draft Robert Griffin III (please God let this happen)

We will finally find out who Ted marries so I can stop watching How I Met Your Mother.  Seriously that show stopped being funny like two seasons ago but I can’t stop watching it.  I have to know!

Kentucky will win the national title in basketball.  They will beat UNC in the championship game.

UNC will eventually get this title when Kentucky is forced to vacate all their wins due to blatant cheating on the part of Calipari.

Nothing will happen for the rest of the year crazier than this story.  Click on that link.  Seriously.  I won’t spoil the whole story, but it includes Roy Halladay, a man harvesting tropical fish for an aquarium, an anaconda attack, and a man named Skeet.

America will dominate the Olympics this summer per usual.  Once again showing other countries that we are better than they are at games.


Happy New Year