The Bowl System Blows

December 23, 2011

Seriously.  The current NCAA Football postseason is one of the worst things that has ever happened.  And I am not even talking about the championship game.  The BCS isn’t fair, but at least its entertaining.  The championship is usually a good game and even when its not we can enjoy the constant bitching from fans of the schools left out.  I for one enjoy seeing the state of Idaho get fucked every year.  If those people wanted to be winners then they shouldn’t have lived in Idaho.  My problem with the bowl season is what happens before the BCS bowls.

I am talking of course about the ridiculous number of worthless early bowls.  These games are where quality football goes to die.  There is nothing worse than getting stuck with nothing to watch on TV other than the Little Caesar’s Bowl featuring Western Michigan and Purdue.  Those two powerhouses with a combined record of 13-11 are in the only bowl game on December 27th.  I am always stuck with my family on December 27th and really need something more exciting to watch than goddamn Western Michigan.

And do not think that this is an isolated incident.  Over half the bowls are completely unnecessary featuring teams that no one wants to watch.  There are so many useless bowl games now that many of them cannot find real sponsors.  Sadly I only made up one of the following bowl names; The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, the Beef-O-Brady’s Bowl, and the Chipotlaway Underwear Stain Removal Bowl.  Why do there have to be so many of these bowls?  Teams that only win half their games are rewarded with extra revenue and exposure.  The early bowl games are like participation trophies for division one athletes.  And we all know that participation trophies are one small step away from communism.

Fortunately I have a solution.  Completely cut out half the bowl games.  Leave only the ones with a little bit of history and real sponsors.  I am talking about bowls like the Cotton, Gator, and Chick-Fil-A games as well as the BCS bowls.  Sorry Belk Bowl.  A sheisty regional department store isn’t making the cut as a legitimate sponsor.  Once all the weak sauce games are gone then we redistribute the games so that they run pretty evenly from the 23rd through to whenever the National Championship game is held.  The reason this doesn’t happen now is that there is still some lingering prestige that goes with playing in a New Year’s Eve or later game.  I’m not sure the exact year when this became bullshit but it certainly is now that the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl features 6-7 UCLA on New Year’s Eve.  Yup, a losing record.  I didn’t know till literally right now that losing teams were even allowed in bowls.

Once we get rid of the bad bowls and move the good ones around a little then there is only one thing left to do.  Make some sort of bowl season fantasy or gambling event.  The two most popular sports events in America are the NFL and the NCAA basketball tournament.  Not because these events are better but because we get to watch them with an ulterior motive.  Everybody watches the early round NCAA games not because they give two shits about Belmont but because their bracket is at risk.  The effect of fantasy football on the NFL is even more pronounced.  Last night a bunch of people came to my house to watch the Colts-Texans games.  None of us are from Texas or god-forbid Indianapolis, but we are all in fantasy leagues so the game was relevant and exciting. The MAACO Bowl last night was not.  We literally watched commercials instead of swtiching to that game under the reasoning that, “there might be a funny one.”

In case you still aren’t sold take a look at the refereeing debacle from the Idaho Potato Bowl.




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